Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Roy G. Biv

All things are just better when they are colourful (some are not), but probably not accepted as a norm if coloured.

Bacon
As you can see from the picture right there, bacon can be coloured.  I also assume that the colour effects the taste - for the better that is.  Bacon is amazing as it is, why not have it in pink?

Kittens
Now I have no idea why people are against dyeing kittens.  In non toxic dye of course, maybe even dye them with kool-aid.  They are fuzzy, and whats funner than a fuzzy lime green meow box?

Poo
Yes, lets all get grossed out now.  But apparently poo comes in many different colours, except this time, you actually don't want any colour other than brown.  I came across some site that explained poo colours, and lets just say you should probably call the doctor if you manage to pass some white poo.

Tampons
Am I treading on the edge of conversational norms yet?  I came across some coloured ones the other day, and thought to myself "whats the point?", still no answer to that, but why not, right?

Brownies
They are named brownies.  They have to be brown...or do they?  Why not make some pinkies?  orangies?  purpleies.... I think coloured brownies would be amazing.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Not Quite An Average Post

No sarcasm, no rude remarks, no innuendos. Just poetry. Literally.
This blog is about all things sweet and list worthy, and poetry is both. Here are some of the best poems out there:

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why - Edna St. Vincent Millay
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

A Dream Within A Dream - Edgar Allen Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven - William Butler Yeats
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Rollin Rollin Rollin

Does your desk chair (or sitting chair, or bean bag chair) have wheels, but no lock on the wheels? Mine does, and with sub par laminate flooring, it can get really annoying sometimes:

Wind is my enemy.
My desk is beside a window, I feel like if I open my window, and a gust of wind comes into my room, I'd just start rolling away because the chair wheels have a mind of their own.

When I sit down, I want to sit down, not roll away.
Unless I sit down on my chair in a gingerly manner (and not just plop on like I usually do), the chair rolls backwards at the moment of sitting. I'd normally be fine with this, but when I'm all in essay mode, I don't want to roll away from my desk, it just gives me an excuse to not do homework.

A rolly chair however, also has its pros:

I never have to walk.
I have legs, but why use them when I have wheels? I just give myself a nice push away from the desk, and I'm at my bookshelf.

I have the option of rolling down a hill.
I can't wait for summer. Me, my chair, and a nice steep (but soft) hill.

My bed also has wheels that don't lock, but thats a whole another story in itself.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

And Again.

So, as I'm currently watching Iron Man 2 (yes I'm slow on the uptake), I realized a few things about movies. As you rediscover the blog from dusting off the cobwebs (like I did), share with the world what you have noticed about movies and tv shows.

Villians are easier to beat when there is more than one of them.
Seriously, I remember this one episode of Teen Titans, where there were like a billion of some bad guy, and little robin took them out no problem. Then they came across another bad guy, but this time, only one bad guy, yet the it took the entire team like half the episode to figure out how to beat him.

Food = Super powers.
Spinach and Popeye.
Scooby Snacks and Scooby + Shaggy.
Carrots + dude from Kill Em All.
Need I say more?

Cartoons always wear the same clothes.
Little Lulu always has her little red dress on. Sometimes the cartoon makers even show the closet of the character in question, and we can literally see like 50 of the same thing hanging in their closet.

Every science lab has a fake skeleton.
In all the science classes I've ever been to, I've never seen one. Not even outside of a science class. (The dollar store during Halloween doesn't count)

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A DIY Box

A little while ago, in my "A Box is A Box is A Box" post, I had mentioned that one thing to do with a box is make another box out of it. I feel that I didn't give enough attention to this whole box making process, so here is a DIY for making a box out of another box.

Step 1.
Find a box you can cut up.

You want to find an old box which you don't mind (and it doesn't mind) cutting up. Make sure this box is bigger than the box you want to make for easy DIYing.

Step 2.
Decide on the top of the box.

For your new box, do you want a lid, or do you want a flap, or do you want to seal it over, or do you don't want anything? This step will determine the future of your new box, so mull it over for a while.

Step 3.
Cut out shapes from the box.

Depending on the shape of the new box you want, cut out those shapes from the original box. For instance, if you are making a cheese shaped box (a triangular prism), you want to cut out atleast 2 triangles, and 3 rectangles. If you want a lid for the top, cut out one of the triangles (the top part) slightly bigger, and cut out smaller rectangles for the side of the top.

Step 4.
Assemble.

This is where you make your box. Check out this site for a look at the various prisms available to math kind, and for easy assembling. I'm sure you can figure out how to put your cut out pieces together to assemble your new box.

Step 5.
Enjoy your new box.

Refer to my old Box post if you need some ideas on what to do with your new box.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Cake Fruit


I have had a thing against fruit cake for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, I would still eat it because it didn't taste too bad, but as I realized the true horror of fruit cakes, I stopped eating them completely.

Whats so wrong about a fruit cake you ask? The thing is, if I wanted to be healthy, I'd have fruit. Not weird dried fruit that comes in little chunks (fruit to go is exempt), and especially not weird dried fruit in a cake. Cakes are what I eat when I want yummy, I want nothing but yummy, I don't want a smidgen of health.

I have now decided to compromise. I figure, if we can make cake with fruit, why can't we make fruit with cake? So I have taken it upon myself to fashion cake in the shape of fruits, in the taste of fruits, nay, I will morph cakes into fruits!

If all that fails, I will go out, buy some grapes, and eat those while pretending I morphed cake into fruit.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sweet Times Later


I can now say I experienced what I call "Blog Block", similar to writers block, but much more important. Now that I have found something worth blogging about, here goes... again.

As much as I liked stories with princesses, and ball gowns as a child, I like something better. I like stories with a supposed bad ass. Stories where the good guy was a rule breaker, a maverick in a sense (republicans ruined that word for me, but it applies here). I liked it when heroes did things their way with no regards for the law, they kicked ass, took names, got the girl, and won my heart.

Robin Hood.
Stealing from the rich? Check.
Giving to the poor? Check.
Totally awesome weapon/fighting style? Check.
A band of merry men? Check.
Bad assery level: 10

Sherlock Holmes.
Solving crimes? Check.
Outsmarting cops? Check.
Incredibly clever? Check.
Watson? Check.
Bad assery level: 10

Wolverine.
Super powers? Check.
Nonchalant? Check.
X-Men? Check.
Totally digs Jean Grey? Check.
Bad assery level: 10

Scooby Doo and Shaggy
Terrific twosome? Check.
Scooby snacks? Check.
Meddling kids? Check.
A ballin' shaggin' wagon? Check.
Bad assery level: 20 (10 each)

Who were your childhood heroes?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Water Water Everywhere


Now that its quite warm out, people are up to some interesting activities like "jogging" or "biking" but I think they would have more fun with an old favourite of mine - Water Fights!! I cleaned out our shed today and found my awesome Super Soaker CPS 3200, and remembered some of the awesome games we played with water fights.

Ice Ice Baby.
I don't know who thought this up, but I hated them. Freezing cold water, and lots of it was never fun.

Buckets 'O' Fun.
Instead of using those expensive water guns we just found buckets of water and dumped those on the other team (and sometimes our own team)

The Hose.
You knew those kids were serious when they brought out the garden hose, turned it to full and ran.

While those days sure were fun, these are some things we do with water now:

Drink.
Its weird, I know.

Water the Lawn.
The real way, with a sprinkler or something. Not just "watering" it while letting the hose go crazy on full water pressure.

Swim.
Okay, so we used to do this as kids too. I guess some things never change.

*Picture is of a Super Soaker CPS 3200 (My former weapon of choice).

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lompy


So as it currently stands I don't think I'll ever get a paying job. While I plan to strike against my no-job situation, I've also figured out my dream jobs:

Mattress Tester.
There is no such thing as too bouncy, too fluffy, too weirdly shaped, or too colourful.

Secret Shopper.
Buy shoes, and cakes, shoes made out of cakes, and make the staff of the store miserable? Sign me up.

Food Tester.
Why yes Prince I'mtooscaredtoeatmyownfoodfirstbecausesomeoneistryingtopoisonme, I will indeed taste all the forms of cheese you own.

Soap Smeller.
Someone must be doing this somewhere, why not me?

Astronaut.
This one is legit.

Gold Digger.
No, I mean a real person who goes out in the world with a shovel digging for gold.

Colour Namer.
Someone must have come up with "mauve" and "azure", I can leave my mark in the world via "lompy" - a shade of orangey green.

Monday, May 3, 2010

They See Me Cleanin'

I was cleaning my backyard the other day, and realized there are a lot of things that are just perpetually dirty.

Dishes.
This is why hands were invented, they are like our personal portable plates (say that 3 times fast).

Trees.
Is it just me or are there always gross bugs on trees. Its as if they feel that they can just live in trees, trees are not houses silly spider.

Feet.
Doesn't matter how much you wash them or how many pedicures you get, toe gunk is invincible.

Food.
Specially if its made by someone in college or university.

Keyboard.
Have you ever turned your keyboards upside down, you never know what you might find between your p's and q's.

CDs.
Probably because nobody uses them anymore.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Spam



Spam Spam I'm ham in a can.
You spread over bread,
and you send me in mail.
Nobody likes me cuz I'm Spam
I'm ham in a can
I'm ham in a can
I'm ham in a caaaaaaaan.

That was a song I wrote all by myself a few years ago about spam, and all spammy goodness. (It even had guitar backing to it)

For those of you who don't know, Spam is ham in a can. Well, I'm not sure if you can actually call it ham, or if it just goes by "blob in a box" these days. Spam is incredibly salty, and even saltier if you fry it. Nonetheless, spam is very fun to eat, its chewy and mushy in texture, and can probably substitute as adhesive.

You can also send spam in mail as spam mail. I'm sure everyone has gotten atleast one of these in their life. My personal favourites are the ones that talk about growing that penis you don't have, or paying the people you don't know, or meeting newly divorced monkeys that like balloons on newlydivorcedmonkeysthatlikeballoons.com.

So, I wonder now, if you send a box of spam to someone, is it still spam mail?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Blocks R Us



I used to be really really bad at tetris (like die at level 2 kind of bad). Then of course, my roommates and I decide to take up tetris like its a sport, like its our life. Needless to say it pretty much is my life now, but what I didn't realize was that there is so much more to a tetris game than just getting lines.

"Minos"
The blocks are called "Minos", not just blocks. "Minos" is of course a short form of tetraminos, its like getting on a first name basis with tetris.

T-Spin.
Like the name, you spin the T shaped tetramino into spot. Its like you block it from going straight in, and then you bring it down to the bottom and spin it in spot. I wish there was a square spin as well.

Tetris.
Its when you get four lines at once. I've tried getting more than four, it doesn't work.

Back-to-Back.
I think this is when you get a tetris, or a t-spin and right after that you get a triple/double/single. I don't think I've ever gotten one of these when I actually tried to.

While going down the tetris rabbit hole, I've also taken it upon myself to think up variations on normal tetris, here are some I have come up with:

S-Block.
Single block tetris! Single squares fall down one at a time, and you make lines with that.

Sides.
Sideways tetris. The blocks show up either from the left or the right and you make lines from there.

Tetris Circs.
Tetris with circles. When you try to turn the circles, they spin. This version also has a rounded base to the tetris matrix.

I so hope the tetris people take some of my suggestions, and maybe also create 3D tetris someday.

If you're looking for a place to play some interesting tetris, you can try out Tetris Friends. If you happen to find more interesting tetris sites, feel free to leave them in the comments section!

Image from gearfuse.com